Finnish Jokes
Finnish jokes
In the olden days in Finland, all young men had to go through rites of passage to show that they were REAL FINNISH MEN. The usual set consisted of three tests:
1. Empty a full bottle of vodka without pause
2. Go out in the forest, find a bear and kill it
3. Kiss a strange woman.
When Pekka reached the age of the rites of passage, he had no trouble at all with the vodka. After that, he disappeared into the forest. Three days later, he reappeared with clothes torn and blood dripping from several wounds, and said: “Could you now please show me the woman I have to kill?”
Pekka and Jukka are sitting in a cottage in the middle of nowhere. They've been drinking for three days straight and they finally run out of booze.
Pekka says to his mate “Hey, go and look in the tool shed and see if there's anything to drink there.”
Jukka comes back with a bottle of methanol, and says “We could drink this, but we'll go blind!”
Pekka slowly looks around the cottage and out the window, and says “I think we've seen enough.”
Finnish drinking game:
1. Two Finnish guys go into the sauna, each with a litre of vodka.
2. They drink their vodka
3. Then one guy goes outside.
4. The other guy has to guess who went outside....
The Finnish definition of a gay man: a guy who likes women more than vodka
Brevet fra mor:
Pekka is serving in the military and gets a letter from his mother in Rovaniemi.
Dear Pekka.
I’m writing you this letter so that you’ll know I’m still alive. I’m writing it slowly so that you manage to read it at your speed. I hope you don’t oversleep so that the whole regiment has to wait for breakfast because of you. Next time you come you might nor recognize our apartement as we have moved. There is even a washing mashine in our new place, but when I put in 4 shirts the other day and pulled the plug, they all dissapered. Your father has a new job, with 500 people under him. He’s raking leaves at the graveyard. Last week you uncle Jussi drowned in a Vodka barrel. His friends tried to save him, but unfortunately he put up to much of a fight. We had him cremated and it took a week before it burned out. Your sister Marja-Liisa has had a baby, but as we don’t know if it’s a girl or a boy I can’t tell you if you are an aunt or an uncle. Last week it rained for 7 days. First for 3 days and then for four. Greetings from all of us, also from your best friend Toivonen.
Love
Mom
